"Use your call light when you need help."

So, here is my first attempt at blogging. This transition from working full time to nursing school and then back to the work force (in a job that I feel completely inadequate in and like a failure most days). Being a nurse is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. As rewarding as it is, some days, I just feel like giving up. God has placed me in this profession for a reason. He has called me to serve---and serve I did today.

Ms. Confused was my patient for 2 days. She came to the hospital because of a low blood count and congestive heart failure. So, when I did my morning assessment, she was alert, oriented, knew her name, the year, where she was. I thought, this won’t be so hard. Then, as the day progressed, she became more and more confused. She kept trying to get out of bed but was not steady on her feet. I reminded her, every 15 minutes for the first hour, "use your call light when you need help." 1^st mistake…not asking enough questions to assess her mental status. 2^nd mistake, thinking she would remember to call the next time she tried to get up. Oh, the mistakes a new nurse makes---a lot. My patient fell as she was returning from the bathroom. She was okay, but to make matters worse, she pooped all over the floor. Oh, the joys of being a nurse. I guess all the moms and caregivers of aging parents or grandparents can relate. It was quite the day. I ended up having to restrain her, to help her remember to call when she couldn’t get out of bed alone. As many times as I reminded her, she still tried to get up alone.

It was so interesting that I was assigned this patient. Maybe not interesting but God telling me, reminding me over and over again, that he’s placed me exactly where he wants me and I need to ask for help from Him daily. I tend to question him, and I find myself trying to do it all by myself, just like Ms. Confused did. Proverbs 3:5 says,  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” It doesn’t always work the way I want it to. Ms. Confused wanted to get up alone, but she didn’t have the strength. It has become quite apparent, that this career is not one that I will “do” alone. Looks like my patients aren't the only ones that need to use their call lights.

The life of a nurse is NOT glamorous. It is physically demanding, and for me, emotionally draining. I haven’t cried these many tears since…since…I started nursing school! I pray each morning that I will be a blessing to my patients, to my co-workers. And, yes, I came home today was someone else’s poop on my pants---and I’ll probably do it again tomorrow.